Better

Good news came abounding two Saturdays. I feel that I am redeemed. And the friendship has resumed. Much to my surprise, how easy things can change back to "the way it was before". I am relieved, and yet, at the same time, a bit perplexed at how the "complicatedness" became so... simple in the end. Hmm.

Anyway, I am glad at the end result. And relieved.

Been travelling a lot for work recently. Seems to me it's going to be a busy last few months of the year. I shall count my blessings and not fret about the future. It will take care of itself. Fingers crossed :)

N'oubliez Jamais

Sometimes thoughts of past events flood and consume my mind. So much so that it gets hard to breathe sometimes.

There are things that I know I should remember, and yet, there are things that I know I should forget. I wonder when I can find the balance for both, so my sanity and emotions are intact.

Happy Birthday Me

This year's birthday was a bit sad. Not that I wasn't looking forward to my birthday, but of how I sort of got my birthday wish. I normally take leave on my birthday so I don't have to go to work. But this year, my birthday fell on a Sunday, but I still didn't feel like not working on the next Monday. Well, God heard and granted me my wish... he gave me chicken pox 2 days before my birthday!

So I've been indoors for the past 1 and a half weeks, recuperating. The first few days were bad - guess what they say is true about it hitting harder the older you get. I tried my best to refrain from scratching and avoiding all the food that could leave bad scars i.e. soya sauce, eggs, chicken, and anything with the word "bean" or "nut" in it. Which basically left me nothing to eat except fruits and veggies.

I am recuperating well, except for a few stubborn blisters that are taking really long to wither and die. Plus I am trying hard not to peel the scabs prematurely *haha*. Considering that I am doing nothing but rest for 2 weeks, I am... dare I say it... kinda bored?? God strike me dead for not being grateful for the down time. Kinda feel like a caged lion, but I guess it's good. Gives me time to read and unwind, watch tv, eat and just laze around. Kinda hard to have this luxury actually.

Can't wait to get back on my feet 'cos I feel the need to CELEBRATE my birthday. Who cares if it's belated, right? I have much to celebrate about - recovering from the pox, growing a year older and another day to steer my life and live it to the fullest. I have been thinking a lot recently about past events, and though the heart grew heavy, I have to count my blessings for all thatI have and the people I have around me who care.

So happy birthday me, chicken pox and all! :)

June 2006

I started my blog in June 2006. That's almost 5 years ago. Gosh, how time flies.

I re-read my blog today, and realised that I used to write more and used to do more things, meeting more friends, and learnt to laugh at a lot of things. Five years down the road, I write less, do less, meet friends less and laughed less. Hmm... not a good sign. The things that had increased? Work, travelling, sadness, melancholy. Whoa... that doesn't sound good at all.

I guess it's a sign of going older, mellowing down, less excitable? Or maybe I've just not really had the mood to write.

In all honesty, the past 5 years have not really been really great on the personal front. I did buy a new car, got promoted at work and travelled to many places that I've never been to because of work, but on the personal front, nothing has changed. Same old pain in the heart, which became worse in December 2010. I hope with time, I will move on and learn to let go.

Till then, I must remember to count my blessings, in good and bad times. Life's hard. But it's still good.

Running

It's funny how I've not blogged about running.

I've picked up running again, the first run I've even done was in 2006 at the British 10k Run. It was a great sense of achievement, completing the run in 1 hr 24 minutes and getting a finisher's medal for the sweat and sore legs after!

After coming back from UK, I had the urge to run, but could never find the people to run with. Until last June, when EJ asked me to join the Standard Chartered Marathon with her. I pounced at the chance to pick up running again, and ran 1 hr 24 minutes again (being older 5 years and still clocking the same time was good enough for me!) And a finisher's medal also!

Since then, I've ran many races: Siemens Run (Dataran Merdeka), Shape Night Run (Putrajaya), Olympic Day Run (Dataran again!), Mizuno Run (UPM), Penang Bridge Run (Penang) and Angkor Wat International Half Marathon (Siem Reap). I skipped the Malakoff Run (Bukit Kiara) as I was recovering from illness then. But all in all, 2010 was full of runs, and I became very, very trim (much to my chagrin, since I had resolved to put on some weight).

The thing about running is you only have yourself to beat, and each time, it's just about shaving time off from the last race. My best is still Angkor Wat, at 67 minutes - but that was a fairly flat run, which I enjoyed.

The running continues in 2011: Larian Merdeka (UM), Bareno Run (Bukit Jalil) and today's Larian Bersama Bomba (Dataran Merdeka). The time's for this year have not been good, as I've not been running regularly, and there were long breaks between runs. Today's was very challenging, as half-way through I injured my knee (signs of getting old?!) and walked more than I ran. However, nothing to be worried about, it should be alright in a few days. But EJ managed to run faster than me today, and grabbed herself the last finisher's medal (way to go, woohoo!).

The running calendar will fill up soon: StanChart, Feel Good, Siemens, Penang Bridge, Adidas King of the Road, Seremban?? Have not really decided what runs to do next but we runners are spoilt for choice.

So why the penchant for running, you may ask? Simple reasons:
i. it's good for health - I do feel fitter and it gives me toner legs (heehee);
ii. it's for charity - well, some of the runs anyway, and I prefer to run those that donate the fees to charity;
iii. personal challenge and continuous improvement (kaizen!);
iv. it numbs the pain that life hands to me;
v. it builds mental strength; and
vi. I like shiny medals :)

I hope to be able to continue running for a long time (hope my knee's not busted), and maybe one day do a 21 km - which I'm not ready for yet. Am afraid I'll get too bored running continuously for such a long time (ipod to the rescue maybe!).

So the running will continue. And the battle cry shall be: Run, (insert name), run! *puff puff*

Happy Mother's Day

It is Mother's Day today.

Every year, I will send a card to my mum. I only celebrate Mother's Day, as dad passed away 19 years ago, 6 days after my 15th birthday. Hence, my birthday is a natural trigger for me to remember when my dad passed away.

I've not celebrated Father's Day for a long time, understandably. It is a day that does not register in my life, and it does not bother me as I have grown to understand that life is such that it includes death of family members and those close to you. Gone, but not forgotten.

So on Mother's Day, I hold on dearly to the fact that mum's all I have in this world, and always remind my friends to cherish both their parents if they are still around. Some of us are not that lucky to have both in the world. But I am lucky I've still got me mum. Don't know what I'd do without her, honestly.

So Happy Mother's Day mum. Sorry I can't be there to celebrate, but everyday is Mother's Day (as you said).

Hope I don't disappoint you as a daughter :)

Memories Reminded

I chanced upon some old emails today from a certain someone. How things have changed as the years go by - situations change, people change, feelings change. Some for the better, some for the worse.

Somewhat bittersweet, the memories I was reminded of today.

"Without me saying those three famous words, you know how I feel."

Like We Never Loved At All

Heard this song on Idol. Deep.